Every-day Life

I have a sort of strange fascination with the concept of every-day life. It's very contradicting really, or maybe it makes a little sense. My biggest goal in life has always been to have an extraordinary life. I remember in middle school, we sat in the library to listen to a guest speaker talk about her life and travels. I can't remember her name or why we were listening to her, but I vividly remember looking at this 80 year-old woman and thinking about how amazing her life had been and how I want mine to be like that too. She had brought this enormous pine-cone that she had found in some forest somewhere. At that time I decided that I didn't care if I ever got married or had kids or owned a big house. I wanted to see places, live in my perfect city, and have a job that involved freedom and excitement!

I think it's maybe because I grew up in very small towns in Ohio. And for a good portion of my life, I didn't have either excitement or contentment. I felt kind of trapped. Money was very tight, everyone around me was unhappy, and there was nothing to do but daydream and join school clubs. College has turned me into a completely different person, and I've accomplished a lot. I've been flying to the top. Columbus is amazing compared to tiny towns like Lancaster and Circleville, and I love my school. I love my major. And now I'm in South Korea with loads of summer travel plans. Now I'm busy thinking about which country I'm going to be teaching English in after I graduate, and should I go to Boston or Chicago or Toronto or London for graduate school? I have freedom, and I have plans, and my life is going to be very exciting.

But as I mentioned, I do love every-day scenarios, maybe because I'm not sure if I'll ever have it. I love coffee cups because they make me think of small cafes that I might go to every day on my way to work. I like looking out the window to see damp trees and streets after it rains. Yesterday I was sitting in a restaurant with friends, and suddenly I was just hit with this really cozy in-the-moment feelings. Suddenly I was hyper-aware of my surroundings. There were old movie posters on the walls, and steam was rising from the grill on every table. There was a baseball game on behind me, and in front of me I could see out the open doors of the one room restaurant. Fans were whirring to keep the place from being a sauna. The table across from us had three middle aged Korean men, and they raised their beer glasses in some sort of toast. All around people were eating and talking and dishes clinked and meat fried. It wasn't too loud, but it wasn't quiet at all. For a good 10 minutes, it was the most fascinating thing I could experience.

I'm always in my head. I'm thinking, or I'm daydreaming, or I'm talking or listening. It isn't very often that I look up and really live those moments of ordering a coffee or walking down the street. I dream about those moments though! I keep imagining my future apartment, and the first thing I think about are the dishes that I'm going to have. There was this scene in this old Australian soap opera I watched. The girl was just jogging down her usual path. That's it. And I still think about it. Having an every day routine that I choose and makes me feel comfortable. Gilmore Girls was my favorite show for so long because something was so interesting about so much drama in such a small town. And all winter I kept thinking about how I'll probably end up moving someplace warm, like California or Australia, but now that it's getting warm, I know that I love having four seasons. I can see myself in Europe or the East coast.

This traveler path is going to make me lonely, but I think it also will help me truly love my every-day life when I do finally settle down in a city with maybe a family....definitely at least a dog.